On conformity: The more aware we are of our vulnerabilities to social pressure, the better we can defend against the impulse to conform.
While it is often easy to remain skeptical toward groups we do not belong to or those we have already left, the urge to conform is strongest within the groups we identify with most. In our search for support and acceptance from these circles, we may find ourselves sacrificing more of our individuality than we originally bargained for.
However, being part of a group does not require agreeing with every one of its tenets. We should always feel empowered to voice legitimate criticisms within any circle — be it family, friends, or social interest groups.
When we stop feeling capable of dissent, we grant those groups a level of authority and status they do not deserve and, in reality, do not possess. If a group cannot handle reasonable disagreement, it is likely not a group worth belonging to.
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While critical thinking is a vital first step, taking action is the necessary next stage. Many people spend years reading self-help books and experiencing profound internal epiphanies or breakthroughs. They are often deflated to find that, despite this newfound awareness, their lives remain stagnant.
This lack of progress usually stems from a failure to change actual behavior. While awareness is important, taking tangible action is equally crucial.
Research highlights why this is so difficult; for instance, a study by Berns showed that subjects who went against a group exhibited brain activity associated with high emotional arousal. Standing out feels inherently risky. Yet, as with most challenges, the more frequently we practice independence, the easier it becomes.
Ultimately, it is important to push and stretch ourselves in life. Without high expectations, we risk stagnation; however, these expectations must remain realistic — both those we set for ourselves and those others place upon us.
In fact, disappointing others can be a deeply humanizing experience. It provides those we disappoint with a necessary opportunity to realize that their demands may not have been reasonable in the first place.
Complement with “Conformity and Conflict: Readings in Cultural Anthropology.”
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